The ramblings of a girl who is misunderstood ... very eccentric ... completely odd ... painstakingly creative ... a little loud ... unbelievably funny ... extremely intelligent ... totally nerdy ... and really interesting ... as she loves her life and lives it ... walking down many rocky roads ... surrounded by people who will never truly understand her ...

Monday, February 17, 2014

Open Letter to the Last One

Why her?  Why did you have to hurt her?

You shouldn't hurt any girl, but why this one?  

I've known her for awhile now and she's not the beautiful, strong, independent girl that she's been since the day I met her.

She's different.

What did you see when you looked at her?

Did you see the same things I did?  Beauty far beyond what's on the outside (even though she, sadly, can't see what others do)?  So caring, kind, loving, accepting, compassionate, trusting - it's all disappeared.  None of the old her is there anymore.

The smile she has on her face - painted on, plastered there for all the world to see - doesn't hide the sadness in her eyes.

She looks away, refusing to make eye contact because she knows I can see.

I can see to the core of her being by looking in those beautiful eyes of hers - see her, see what you've done to her - her fear, her weakness, her vulnerability, her self-hatred and self-blame (why does she always blame herself when she's done nothing wrong?) - her pain, so intense.

Her smile covers none of this.

I see the tears in her eyes, even though she does her best to keep them hidden.

Her laughter - forced, deceiving (even if she's the only one tricked by her ploy).

All expected of her, so she continues on, while inside she breaks down completely, while inside she dies.

You didn't just crush her, you destroyed anyone else's chance of ever feeling her love - and any chance she had at being happy - for the sake of what?  A game?  A rush?  An ego-trip?

She won't let anyone touch her now, won't let anyone close - pushes all away so she can't feel anymore pain.  She locks herself up and locks herself away - completely gone from anyone who cares about her.

She prays at night that she doesn't wake up - and cries each morning when she does.

All because of you.

The guy that could have loved her

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