The ramblings of a girl who is misunderstood ... very eccentric ... completely odd ... painstakingly creative ... a little loud ... unbelievably funny ... extremely intelligent ... totally nerdy ... and really interesting ... as she loves her life and lives it ... walking down many rocky roads ... surrounded by people who will never truly understand her ...

Monday, March 20, 2017

Back for Blood

I get tired of being nothing
Of being criticized
And condemned
And ignored

You think you're better than me
More important
Perfect in the shadow of my imperfection
Beautiful in the shadow of my ugliness

You blame me for your unhappiness
Though you claim you are everything but

Your life is nothing but a lie
A story you've comprised of falsehoods
Untruths people are forced to swallow
But inside you know the truth
You know the person you really are
And you're scared
Of yourself
Of the truth
Of me because I am proof that your lies exist
And I represent a life you wish you had never lived

I am honest about who I am
Of the wrongs I have done
Of the hurts I have caused
I have apologized
But the fault is not only mine
I take ownership of who I was and who I am
I was created that way
Brought into a world where love was not freely given
Where battle had to be waged
Where all was lost from the very beginning
Where I was nothing and would always be nothing
Nothing more than a pawn
A vessel
A thing to be used
And manipulated
And hated
A thing to take all blame
My very existence cursed

You took from me what I cared about most
Loved with no strings attached
What I gave my life up for
And left me with nothing
And you felt glorified in that
Felt worthy
Felt loved because I no longer existed
But I do and was never forgotten
Your lies falling on deaf ears
You can't convince someone who was there
Who witnessed all you now deny
You keep them to yourself
Hoping they will one day believe you
Or forget about me
Not seeing that you won
You created monsters just like you
No more the sweet and loving they once were

My destruction makes you powerful
In your mind
In your heart
The reality is a complete opposite
Your words destroy me and blacken your soul
Your actions break my will and lead you closer to her
You claim to loathe her
But she is who you have become
A perfect match
The next generation taking over the madness
And passing it on to the next

But one day you'll have to pay
And the debt you have incurred is substantial
You have given up your humanity
Surrounded yourself by evil
And one day you'll have to answer for all you have done